Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

The words "come here" or "lay down for a diaper change" never have to be repeated around here. If by chance they did have to be repeated over and over again, then most certainly I would never have to be stern about it and follow those sayings up with "now". Nope, not me. I would never have to continuously use the word "now" to follow up a command for Landon. Landon always listens so well and follows orders the first time that they are given. He would never hear "now" so often that he then looks at me, points his finger down, and then says "now" just like I do.  Even if he had started to mock me in such a way I would never find this behavior cute and catch it on video. Nope, not me! I most certainly would never laugh at the little dance that he does after he mocks me. I have far too much composure for that!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not bribe Landon with a pack of fruit snacks to sit still during a diaper change. Nope, not me! I would never result to bribery to make a diaper change easier.

I did not find a diaper in the sink after asking Landon to throw it away. I always make myself crystal clear and would never forget to add the words "in the trashcan" after saying "throw it away". Nope, not me! Even if I had, I most certainly would never make this mistake a second time resulting in me having to fish a diaper out of the toilet. Nope, not me!

I did not laugh when I found Landon covered in ketchup after instructing him to take his plate to the kitchen sink. Landon would never go to the sink and then lick the remnants of ketchup off of his plate. And I most certainly would never take a second too long to check up on him and make sure that the plate made it into the sink. Even if I had taken a little too long to realize that I never heard the plate hit the sink, I would never take a picture of my Landon covered in ketchup after discovering what he had been doing. Nope, not me!

Not me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not make Ramen Noodles and tell Landon that it was chicken noodle soup simply by adding chicken and carrots to the noodles. Nope, not me! I would never take such a short cut in the kitchen.

I did not have to stifle a laugh when Landon peed on Tinkerbell. Nope, not me! I would never find such a disgusting thing to be funny.

I did not allow Landon to paint all over himself rather than on paper because I thought it fueled his creativity. Nope, not me! I would never make myself have a bigger mess to clean all for the sake of having some fun and I most certainly would never encourage body painting.

I did not allow Landon to watch a show with his Aunt Jenny that is a little too old for him. As a result, Landon did not learn how to point at people while saying "ha ha." Nope, not my son. He would never learn such a thing. If he had learned such a thing, then surely I was not the one who allowed him to learn it.

I did not cry like a baby when Landon got his first hair cut. Nope, not me! I would never be one of those crazy moms who cries over every little thing that their child does and every new milestone that they cross.

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not contemplate forgoing a Not Me! post just because I was too tired to write it. Nope, not me! I always get plenty of sleep and would never be completely exhausted before 11 am!

I did not throw in the towel once again with potty training. I did not have my leg peed on three times in one day for me to call it quits for now with potty training. Nope, not me!

I did not feed Landon baked ziti two nights in a row this week just because that was all he would eat. I also did not hide spinach and squash in his baked ziti just to make myself feel better about him eating back to back. Nope, not me!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not laugh at Landon mimicking me while he was in timeout, which completely defeated the purpose of his timeout. Nope, not me! I always keep my composure and would never laugh at something Landon did when I am trying to discipline him.

I did not insist that Landon eat all of his dinner since I spent all day cooking it only to then eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner because I didn't even feel like eating. Nope, not me! I always follow my own advice and eat well balanced meals.

I did not put Landon to bed in just a diaper the other night because I was too tired to fight with him to put his pajamas on. An hour later I did not feel bad about him sleeping in only a diaper and then proceed to get his pajamas on him as he slept. Nope, not me! Only a crazy woman would risk waking a sleeping baby to put pajamas on them.

I did not allow Landon to have complete roam of the room while I caught a few more minutes of sleep one morning. He then did not unfold all of the clothing that he came across as I caught a few more Zzzs. I most definitely did not allow him to watch his cartoon on repeat 2 (or 3 or 4) times to keep him occupied so I could nap a little longer. I then did not wake up completely regretting that decision once I saw the mess that he had made with all of the recently folded laundry. Nope, not me!

Not my child Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Landon most certainly did not pick up a dead lizard and call out "Momma" to get me to turn around so that he could throw it in my face. Nope, not my child! Landon would never do such a thing. He has far more control to throw a lizard into my face. Landon did not flip the dog water bowl over for the umpteenth time this week and then splash in the puddles of water soaking his newly bathed and freshly dressed self. Nope, not my child! He is always on his best behavior. Landon also did not then go and dump all of the dog food out and try sweeping it up himself which caused even more of a mess. Nope, not my child! Landon did not go to story time the other day and only last for two minutes before having to leave. Nope, not my child! He is always on his best behavior and will never have to be asked to leave story time because he can't sit still. Landon would also never throw his shoes into a tub full of water and then proceed to get them out and splash the water from them all over me while laughing hysterically. Nope, not my child! He would never find such a thing to be so funny.

Since I wrote all of the things that Landon did not do this week it is time to air my dirty laundry. I most certainly did not hide one of Landon's toys so I would no longer have to hear him whine over the fact that it is defective. Nope, not me! I would never hide a defective toy from my son to give my pounding headache a break. I then did not go and e-mail the toy company to tell them that the toy is defective and it will not stand straight up on its own causing my son to scream and cry because he can't get said toy to stand up straight. I know my e-mail will do no good and I can't return it because it came in a set with 8 other Pooh figures (thankfully, all of which work fine) and all of the Darby figures were made the exact same way- her head is too heavy for her body and she falls over. At least I felt better by telling the company how I felt. I would never write someone just to make myself heard. Nope, not me!