"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, a home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for."

Monday, November 23, 2009

Wishes and Memories

As I mentioned before, Landon and his Uncle Alex spend a lot of time together. I love that the two of them are close and are able to bond, but at the same time this gives me a bit of disappointment. Not because the two of them are spending time together, but because Alex reminds me so much of our dad. Alex is growing up and the more he grows the more he resembles our dad, even down to his mannerisms. My heart always feels a little empty and broken when I see Alex and Landon together. It hit me especially hard today at the park. Alex was pushing Landon on the swings and just the way he was moving and the facial expressions that he made took my breath away. He looked and acted so much like my dad and I couldn't help but think that my dad would be doing the same exact thing with Landon if he was here with us today. I so badly wish that my dad could be here with us and see Landon. I wish that I could hear him tell me that he was proud of me and that he could see Landon grow up. I wish that Landon would have a "Pop-Pop" and I also wish that my dad could see the amazing man that Alex is turning into. Certain events in one's life are so much harder when a loved one is no longer here to share them with. The birth of a new baby and child rearing is definitely one of those events that makes you long for the person that is gone. I never had grandparents growing up so I am so very grateful that Landon has my mom and both of Kevin's parents. I know that he has 3 grandparents who love him dearly and I am so glad that he will experience growing up with relatives since I never did. But at the same time a part of me is feeling kind of selfish lately and wishing that he had a 4th grandparent. Especially as of lately. I know that my dad is here with us in spirit, but I'd give anything to see him holding Landon. Life is way too short and you don't realize it until you lose the ones that you love most. Make sure to hug and kiss those that you love daily and never take a single day for granted. You never know when that day will be your last.

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