Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
Landon most certainly did not pick up a dead lizard and call out "Momma" to get me to turn around so that he could throw it in my face. Nope, not my child! Landon would never do such a thing. He has far more control to throw a lizard into my face. Landon did not flip the dog water bowl over for the umpteenth time this week and then splash in the puddles of water soaking his newly bathed and freshly dressed self. Nope, not my child! He is always on his best behavior. Landon also did not then go and dump all of the dog food out and try sweeping it up himself which caused even more of a mess. Nope, not my child! Landon did not go to story time the other day and only last for two minutes before having to leave. Nope, not my child! He is always on his best behavior and will never have to be asked to leave story time because he can't sit still. Landon would also never throw his shoes into a tub full of water and then proceed to get them out and splash the water from them all over me while laughing hysterically. Nope, not my child! He would never find such a thing to be so funny.
Since I wrote all of the things that Landon did not do this week it is time to air my dirty laundry. I most certainly did not hide one of Landon's toys so I would no longer have to hear him whine over the fact that it is defective. Nope, not me! I would never hide a defective toy from my son to give my pounding headache a break. I then did not go and e-mail the toy company to tell them that the toy is defective and it will not stand straight up on its own causing my son to scream and cry because he can't get said toy to stand up straight. I know my e-mail will do no good and I can't return it because it came in a set with 8 other Pooh figures (thankfully, all of which work fine) and all of the Darby figures were made the exact same way- her head is too heavy for her body and she falls over. At least I felt better by telling the company how I felt. I would never write someone just to make myself heard. Nope, not me!